The programme

No detox.Nothing to quit.

These are the exercises from Update My Terms. A short self-reflection shows you where you actually stand, then guided exercises you run on ordinary days — with the phone still in your pocket.

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By the end, three things have changed. You can set boundaries that actually hold, without the white-knuckle willpower that never lasts. You have built the quiet confidence to back yourself, so the change stops being something you force and becomes simply who you are. You create the momentum to keep going too, long after the last page, in a world that is only getting more crowded with screens.

Not less technology.More you, inside how you use it.

How It Works

Six steps, in the order they actually need to happen.

  1. Part one · See it

    Your life rests on four pillars

    You are not four separate people. The pillars lean on one another constantly. Poor sleep flattens your mood. A scattered mind frays your sense of meaning. Real connection lifts everything at once.

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    • Emotional

      Your mood, your steadiness, the people around you.

    • Physical

      Your sleep, your rest, how much you actually move.

    • Intellectual

      Your focus, and thinking a thing all the way through.

    • Spiritual

      Whether your life feels like it means something.

    Technology presses on all four — through comparison, through fractured attention, through nights that end with a screen, and by quietly filling the space where reflection used to live.

  2. Part one · See it

    Find out where you stand in each one

    A short, gentle reflection places you on four stages, pillar by pillar. Not a score. Not a grade. A starting point.

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    Nobody is the same in all four. You might be steady with sleep and losing whole evenings to distraction. That is not a mistake in your results. It is the honest map of a real person's life, and it tells you exactly which room to start in.

  3. Part two · Work it

    A strained pillar shows up as a feeling

    You rarely notice a pillar going short. You notice the symptom. Ten chapters for the ten feelings that surface when technology presses on one of the four, each one sitting in the pillar it came from.

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    Each chapter sits under one of the four:

    • Emotional
    • Intellectual
    • Physical
    • Spiritual

    You work the chapter your own reflection points you at, not all ten in order. The chapters themselves are in Update My Terms.

  4. Part two · Work it

    Small experiments, not a detox

    Each chapter is five to seven days of small experiments you run on an ordinary work or school day.

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    Nothing to quit. Nothing to announce. Nothing in a drawer.

    1. Try
    2. Watch
    3. Keep

    You try each one, watch what it does to you, and keep only what earns its place. Every chapter also tells you when to come back to it, so the book stays useful long after the first read.

  5. Part three · Keep it

    Turn what held into something that lasts

    The habits still running on determination are really rules, and they go the moment you are tired enough. So you convert them.

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    A rule under pressure asks whether you can get away with breaking it.

    A boundary asks whether you still want the thing it is protecting.

    Almost always, you do. Then you arrange your world so it holds those boundaries for you, because most of what looks like discipline is arrangement.

  6. Part three · Keep it

    Write it down, then come back

    It ends with your Tech Charter, in your own handwriting. Not a list of rules you will feel guilty for breaking. A short, plain statement of what you are protecting and how.

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    Six months on, you take the assessment again and read the gap between the two. Not a promise somebody made you. Evidence, from your own life, that when you understand how this works and choose differently, things change.

Four Stages. Where Are You?

You do not pass through these in order, and you can sit in more than one at once. There is no wrong one to be in.

  • Reactive

    The phone leads and you follow. Most people start here, and most people do not notice until they stop to look.

  • Conflicted

    You can see what it is doing, and it keeps happening anyway. The most uncomfortable stage, and by far the most common.

  • Proactive

    You start making deliberate choices, and some of them hold. Boundaries stop feeling like punishment.

  • Harmonious

    The technology earns its place. You use it hard when it serves you, and put it down without a fight.

What you leave with

Your Tech Charter

A rule under pressure is not a rule. Your charter is the short list that survives a bad week — written by you, in your words.

Keep only what earns its place.

  1. What I am protecting

    My evenings, and the people in them

  2. My boundaries, three or four that earned their place

    Phone sleeps downstairs. Nothing before breakfast.

  3. How I will know it is working

    I finish the book I started

  4. The one that has to survive the worst week of the year

    No phone at the table. Even then.

Signed

Alex R.

Dated

21 Sept

Signed by you, dated, and revisited whenever you like.

The self-reflection opens first.Be in the room for it.

Join the waitlist and you will hear the moment it is ready. Nothing else.

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